These Real Standardized Test Answers Will Have You Laughing Out Loud


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I took a job scoring standardized test questions.  

Naturally, this job is pretty tedious most of the time, since I’m grading the same question thousands of times. But every now and then, one of these little mathematicians will give me something to smile about. I hope they do the same for you.

The first question I scored had a gardening theme. Some responses had more to do with agriculture than math:

1. Thanks, Farmer Fred!

2. Showing off vocabulary.  I love it.

3. The spelling is often atrocious and amusing.

I’ve been teaching math a long time and INCUEBELENT is news to me.

4. Quoting his teacher about being a mathematician.

5. “VOILA!”  Cute or what?

6. Turning it around and answering the question with a question.

I had a professor like that once. Turning it back on the other person can be a valid strategy in some cases (not math.)

7. Using friends’ names and measuring money in yards.  

I’m guessing he’s Worthell.

8. And then what happened?

9. Some of them promise to do the work but never quite get around to it.

Promises, promises, kid.

10. Begging for mercy… Can’t blame them!

11. Sad or funny?

Give me a break, lady, I’m only in 4th grade!

12. When all else fails, draw a scary face.

Note that the evil face is bringing news of your failure.

13. This definitely took some time (that could have been spent on the problem that went undone.)

14. I admit I saw this and winked back.

15. Check out this Frankenstein’s number line head scar!

16. Some are conversational with the scorer which, oddly, made me feel less lonely:

This child knows his answer is wrong but he’s “going with it.”  Knowing when to quit is important.

17. Expecting leniency for good habits.

18. Asking me to pretend his blocks are of equal sizes. Love it! I’ve done that with students.

19. It was not our intent to insult his intelligence.

20. Gotta dig the enthusiasm here.  

He drew me a picture too.

Too bad there are no points for amusing the scorer.


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