14 Things That Only Happen When You Date A Teacher

14 Things That Only Happen When You Date A Teacher

Some of you out there may be considering dating one of us amazing, wonderful teachers. If you are, then good news! We are pretty awesome as a whole and we’re great when it comes to dating you non-teacher types. In case you’re still on the fence, here are 14 things that only happen when dating a teacher.

1. You get your grammar corrected a lot.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “That sounds like it would get annoying after a while.” But be honest, wouldn’t it be nice to know that when you speak, you’re doing it correctly? Haven’t you secretly been wanting to know the difference between “there, they’re and their” but were afraid to ask? Well, wonder no more! Dating a teacher is like cuddling up next to a living, breathing textbook.

2. Every trip to Walmart will make you feel like you’re walking the red carpet with a celebrity.

Have you ever wanted to be famous? Or at least be tangentially connected to someone who was famous? Then date a teacher and just sit and back and wait until you two go out in public together. Students of your significant other will swarm you both like paparazzi at the Oscars, and since they’ve never seen you before, be prepared to answer several thousand questions about your most intimate details. 

3. Your house will never be more organized.


Teachers are master organizers because otherwise, our classrooms descend into complete chaos. So if you’ve ever thought about what it would be like to have your kitchen utensils color-coded, your DVD collection alphabetized, or your dresser drawers labeled, then teachers are who you should swipe right on.

4. You’ll become a master craftsman in no time.

Even if you’ve never ventured into the world of Pinterest, if you date a teacher you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll learn to cut, glue, laminate and construct all sorts of classroom projects. Mostly because you’ll be spending 2-3 nights a week doing just that. Sure it sounds boring, but after the first few dozen projects, you’ll actually find it relaxing. We promise! 

5. We are great when dealing with your parents.

Are your parents a lot to handle? Can they be overbearing sometimes? Are you actually afraid to introduce your dates to them at all because you’re worried they might embarrass you? Then you should absolutely date a teacher. I promise you we have seen it all, and we are experts in dealing with every kind of parent under the sun.

6. We love having conversations with adults.

We will be instantly transfixed on everything you say, mostly because we don’t get to have adult conversations about non-school related stuff all day and all week. It makes us really great listeners and sparkling conversationalists.

7. I hope you like Netflix… a lot.

Sure going out every weekend and eating fancy dinners and partying in clubs until 2 in the morning sounds great, but the financial strain can drive you crazy. If you date a teacher, however, those worries will be a thing of the past. You know what we find super-sexy? Comfy pajamas, take out food and a Netflix binge marathon. 

8. We do occasionally go out, and when we do we rock.


Teachers aren’t hermits, we do occasionally enjoy a night out on the town and when we do, you can be sure we’re the life of the party. You definitely want us on your team for trivia night, and we will always be first in line for karaoke to belt out the latest hits because hanging out with children all day guarantees we know all the words to every pop song in existence.

9. We appreciate every gift you give us… that isn’t a coffee mug.


Have you ever dated someone that constantly needed to be showered with expensive gifts to make them feel special? Well, you’ll never have that problem when you date a teacher. You can wow us with a fresh pack of Expo markers. A box of pencils makes us swoon. And if you bring home a ream of printer paper we’re yours forever.

10. Speaking of coffee mugs… You better make some room in your kitchen cabinets.

One of the many perks of dating a teacher is that you’ll never have to go without coffee cups ever again. In fact, you’re going to want to clear out a cabinet (or two) to hold all of them. Every teacher in America has enough of these things to open their own coffee mug outlet store.

11. You’ll never be allowed to throw anything away… ever.

If cleaning the house and dragging endless bags of garbage outside disturbs you, then dating a teacher should definitely be on your to-do list. Teachers have never met an empty cereal box, toilet paper tube or plastic container they didn’t like. You’ll never think of trash the same way again!

12. When the bill comes, you’ll always have someone who knows the right amount to tip.


Here’s a situation that could be embarrassing: You go out to eat and you want to impress your date. The bill comes and you stare at it because you want to leave a 20% tip but your math skills are a little rusty. If you date a teacher you can say goodbye to that awkwardness! Teachers will be more than happy to take a pencil out of their hair (there’s always a pencil in their hair by the way) and do the math for you.

13. You will become intimate with the layout of Target, Michaels and every dollar store within a 30-mile radius of your home.

If your idea of a perfect Saturday afternoon is to wander the aisles of dozens of stores looking for bargains and school supplies, then teachers should be at the top of your dating pool. Sure we spent 2 hours at Target last weekend, but who knows what new items they’ve put out since then? The possibilities are endless!

14. No matter what you have planned, it’ll be planned to within an inch of its life.

A simple night out? A week-long vacation? A weekend getaway? Date a teacher and never again will you have to worry about planning out the details. We literally spend 60% of our lives planning. We plan our lessons, our assessments… basically everything that we do during the day is planned to a ridiculous degree. Now your life will be planned out too!

See? Doesn’t dating a teacher sound great?


14 Things That Only Happen When You Date A Teacher

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David Rode

Dave is a middle school math teacher. He's also a musician, a community theater, dad to two amazing children, and he doesn't get a lot of sleep.

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