17 Types of Teachers You Can Find in Every Staff Meeting

types of teachers staff meeting

Staff meetings are inevitable for teachers… like lesson planning and being sleepy all the time. And if you pay attention during those staff meetings you start to notice some very distinct personalities that will emerge. Here are just a few types of teachers you can spot at every staff meeting. Which one are you?

1. The Scroller

This is the teacher that’s mostly tuned out but pretends like they’re listening even though they’re scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and taking Snapchat selfies. You can usually spot The Scroller because they will occasionally laugh out of nowhere because of a funny meme they came across.

2. The Socializers

Like many of our students that we try to separate in our seating charts to avoid them from talking to each other, there are teacher BFFs that do the same. If they don’t sit next to each other, they’re sending each other texts across the room, or making faces at each other.

3. The Snacker

Sure, some staff meetings take longer than others. If your school holds meetings after school, you might feel the need to bring a small snack to keep you going. The snacker, however, seems to believe this meeting may take anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 years. They bring an insane amount of food and set it up all over the table like this meeting is their own personal picnic, drawing attention by cracking open soda cans and reaching into bags of chips.

4. The Ill-snooze-onist

This illusionist expert teacher has mastered the art of sleeping with their eyes open. It’s a complicated technique that takes years of practice in mind-numbing meetings, but those who figure out how to do it best can even fall asleep with a smile, as well.

5. The Attention Monitor

Every classroom has a teacher’s pet, and every staff meeting has the Attention Monitor. They prefer sitting right up front near the presenter and are generally the ones who make several vain attempts to get everyone to settle down. Although they mean well, there’s something that rubs teachers the wrong way when a fellow teacher chirps out “1-2-3 eyes on me” at other teachers.

6. The Non-stop Talker

Occasionally, staff meetings actually include information that teachers need and want to know. When that happens, you’ll want to make sure you’re seated far away from the Non-stop Talker, who will chew your ear off about anything and everything no matter what is being said. You can partly forgive the Non-stop Talker for assuming nothing of importance will be said at these meetings, but seriously dude… just zip it for like 5 minutes.

7. The Late Arrivers

No staff meeting would be complete without at least a couple of teachers showing up several minutes late. What’s always fun about the Late Arrivers is the varying level of excuses they come up with. Everything from “I was stuck talking to a parent” to “I completely forgot we had a meeting today.” Did you, Karen? Did you really?

8. The Bathroom Escapist

Ah, the most daring of all the teachers. This is the rebel we all aspire to be. This teacher will show up on time, appear engaged in the process, then suddenly and mysteriously, will have to use the bathroom and makes a break for it. They leave… never to return. Weirdly no one will ask them why they’re taking all their belongings with them if all they have to do is pee. Godspeed sneaky but clever teacher!

9. The Fake Performer

Many staff meetings (too many in fact) will include some sort of audience participation. Ironically, we teachers are constantly trying to get our students involved in our lessons, yet we absolutely hate it when people try to get us to do the same thing. That’s where the Fake Performer comes in. The teacher that’s overly enthusiastic about the task, not because they like it but because they know the sooner the task gets completed the sooner they can go home.

10. The Interruptor

Trainings are a necessary evil for teachers. Occasionally, new things come down the line and we need to be taught how to use them or adjust to them. And while most of us are content to sit there and let the presenter give us the information in their own way, there’s always one teacher who feels the need to interject with questions, comments or sidebars that have absolutely nothing to do with anything we’re talking about.

11. The Lesson Planner

Teachers know that every minute they spend at school must be as productive as possible, which is why so many of us have mastered the art of multi-tasking. Listening to a presentation while grading a stack of papers and writing next week’s lesson plans at the same time? No problem, just nudge me if there’s anything we need to vote on or decide that impacts my daily routine.

12. The Never-ending Questioner

This teacher is the bane of many other teachers’ existence. This is the person that turns a 20-minute meeting into a 45-minute meeting. They sit and wait for the perfect opportunity to strike. They’ll have nothing to say until an Administrator says “Does anyone have any questions before we break?” And that’s when they suddenly need to know whether or not the lunch shifts should be adjusted by 3 minutes to account for Daylight Savings Time.

13. The Know-It-All

There’s no doubt about it, teachers know a lot of stuff. Some of us, however, think we know a lot more than we actually do. That’s The Know-It-All. No matter what the topic is, this teacher will waste no time telling everybody how they know all about this and have known about it for months. They’ll also be quick to correct, question and pester the presenter if heaven forbid they make any small mistake or say anything the know-it-all disagrees with.

14. The Doomsday Alarmist

No matter what simple and straightforward concept is being presented, there is always one teacher who will skip straight to the worst-case scenario no matter how bizarre it is. One minute you’re talking about state testing protocols, the next minute your principal is explaining to Heather that we probably don’t need to worry about maintaining a chain of command of testing materials if a meteorite crashes into the school 10 minutes into the test.

15. The Bobblehead

As we’ve discussed, some teachers distract themselves with other activities, some nod off, while others participate a little too much. Then there’s the Bobblehead. Worn out from a day of teaching, the Bobblehead is too tired to do anything other than stare at the presenter and nod their head as if they’re absorbing all of this information. They’re not, but it looks very convincing.

16. Captain Tune Out

You can find Captain Tune Out in the very back of the room, most likely leaning back in their chairs like we keep telling students not to. Not only are they not paying any attention to what’s going on, but they also couldn’t care less who knows about it. Some of the most brazen offenders might even put on a hat and pull it over their face like a cowboy in the old west.

17. The Eager Beaver

There’s always one in every crowd. The Eager Beaver is actually excited about the possibility of learning something new. Generally a newer teacher (but not always), the Eager Beaver is on time, prepared with multiple writing implements and focused on whatever is being discussed, no matter how mind-numbing it may seem to the rest of us.

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David Rode

Dave is a middle school math teacher. He's also a musician, a community theater, dad to two amazing children, and he doesn't get a lot of sleep.

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