23 Weird Things That Only Teachers Say Aloud at Work

1 min


When we asked the Bored Teachers community, “What are the weirdest things you’ve ever said at school?” we got the following hilarious responses, straight from the teacher’s mouth. ENJOY!

If you haven’t shared with us the weirdest thing YOU’VE ever said at school, then let us know in the comments for a chance to be featured in a future blog post!

1.

"How about "why am I hearing voices?" That one cracks me up every time"

2.

"I have your little testies in my hand."

3.

How many times have I had to tell you to stop making velociraptor noises in the classroom?"

4.

"After a student told me "one more sec" after taking forever, I said, "NO, NO MORE SECS ALLOWED"

5.

I teach middle and high school, I am not kidding I actually have to say, "Stop sniffing me it is weird and inappropriate!"

6.

I'm an elementary music teacher and we were just starting recorder... I said "Cover your A-hole and blow softly!"

7.

Eating crayons rainbow Things teachers say

8.

"No you may not see my belly button."

9.

White teaching the letter F "Let's think of some F-words to write" Aye! I meant words with the letter F

10.

"A student wouldn't stop talking so I told him to move to the back of the room. He said "Oh come on" and I said "Don't you come on me!"

11.

After seeing a child pick a big booger out of his nose... "You put that back where it was!"

12.

Teaching about mosquito diseases: "To protect yourself you need to get off"

13.

This is not a pool, stop swimming on the floor! Please don't lick the desk anymore. You are not a cat."

14.

If you're looking at your lap, your hands are in your lap, your coat is over your hands, there's only 2 things you could be doing. If it's a cell phone put it away. If it's not put it away."

15.

"Who called Brody a burrito?"

16.

A kindergarten had a pic of herself taped to her spot on the carpet. I told her to "Sit on your face and act like a lady."

17.

Armpits are not for farts. Don't lick the table. Stop having fun. Noses aren't for picking."

18.

Who's rubbing my leg? Stop it, that's just weird."

19.

"I'm asking you to read and follow directions, not sacrifice cats for Satan."

20.

I once told my class to turn their vibrators off.

21.

The chorus teacher said "I need a big D"

22.

"stop playing with your balls"

23.

"Everyone freeze and look at my rack"


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