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22 Things All Teachers Say Within The First 20 Minutes of School


22 Things All Teachers Say Within The First 20 Minutes of School

Just as we can count on another unplanned fire drill inevitably interrupting test day, teachers also know every day on the job will bring us face to face with cringe-worthy and LOL-inducing moments. And many of these WTF encounters happen before the caffeine has kicked in!

Here are things every single teacher says within the first 20 min of school:

  1. “Wonder what fresh hell awaits me today…”
  2. “OMG why are they here already?!”
  3. “What if I just didn’t open my door?”
  4. “Where did I put my coffee?”
  5. “One last pee before the ol’ bladder is stretched to the limit…”
  6. “Seriously, where is my coffee?”
  7. “F*** you, copy machine!”
  8. “Seems like there’s a problem with my audio. Let’s try that again.”
  9. “I don’t know what’s for lunch—did you look at the menu?!”
  10. “If you could back up juuuuust a little and give me some personal space, that’d be great.”
  11. “Oops, I forgot to send attendance. Again.”
  12. “I love technology!”
  13. “Honey, we can’t hear you. I can see that you’re talking, but we cannot hear you.”
  14. “I hate technology!”
  15. “Everyone should be muted. Please, mute your microphone!”
  16. “Does everyone know the difference between deodorant and anti-perspirant?”
  17. “You were absent yesterday, but the rest of us still had class, yes.”
  18. “Again?! Didn’t you just use the restroom?”
  19. “Can you hear me? Can you see my screen? Am I frozen? Okay, let’s try this again.”
  20. “How wonderful your cat’s birthday is today! But the question was, ‘How many days are in February?'”
  21. “Is the student Hybrid A, Hybrid B, 100% virtual, virtual only today, or just plain absent?”
  22. “Only 23 more years until I can retire…”

Only teachers say all of this within the first 20 minutes of school. If consistency really is the key to success, managing the consistently silly and absurd parts of teaching surely makes a successful educator. And to think: we handle so much before other professionals even arrive at their job!

Come join us in the #teacherlife community for more discussions like this.

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22 Things All Teachers Say Within The First 20 Minutes of School


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Stephanie Jankowski

Stephanie Jankowski is an English teacher by trade, smack talker by nature, and author of Schooled: A Love Letter to the Exhausting, Infuriating, Occasionally Excruciating Yet Somehow Completely Wonderful Profession of Teaching. When not teaching or writing, Stephanie is trying like hell to raise three decent human beings.

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