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30 Silly Things You Wouldn’t Hear Any Professional Say Except a Teacher


Teachers are highly educated professionals. Most have the student loans and stacks of professional development training certificates to prove it. However, there are certain things that set teachers apart from other professionals (and we aren’t just talking about the pay gap). For example teachers say silly things every single day that you just wouldn’t hear an accountant, engineer, or chef say.

Silly Things Real Teachers Have Said:

Silly things teachers say

We asked the Bored Teachers community, “What’s the silliest thing you said today that wouldn’t be said in any other profession?” Here are some of our favorite responses.

  1. “Don’t blow your nose with the mask!
  2. “No, I don’t want to smell your hand.”
  3. “Don’t drink out of a puddle!”
  4. “Don’t drink through your mask.”
  5. “Did anyone lick the pineapples sitting on my desk?”
  6. “You can’t float in your pool for our class Zoom meeting.”
  7. “I’m sorry your impotence is bothering you, but the nurse can’t fix that, so finish your work!” (said to a first grade girl) 
  8. “No, I can’t give you a band-aid because you bit your tongue.”
  9. “You’re in ninth grade. Why are you eating glue?”
  10. “Eating candy corn for breakfast every morning does not make muscles bigger.”
  11. “We don’t show our underwear during show and tell.”
  12. “Your potato needs to stay in your backpack until you leave at the end of the day. And maybe tomorrow it would be a good idea to leave the produce home.”
  13. “Stop licking your pencil like a lollipop.”
  14. “Why did you staple your friend’s nipple to his shirt?!?”
  15. “Yes, you may go to the bathroom, but please turn off your camera.”
  16. “Don’t put your tongue in the electric pencil sharpener.”
  17. “We don’t put pennies in our mouths even if they are covered in cheese.”
  18. “Urinals are not for showering.”
  19. “Cutting your desk with your scissors would be a reason for me to take them away.”
  20. “No, I don’t think you can carve a banana into a useful screwdriver.”
  21. “Please tell your family to stop throwing chickens at your screen.”
  22. I don’t think you can really describe Alexander the Great as “King of the Jungle”…at least not on an exam.”
  23. “Stop throwing glue sticks out the window!”
  24. “Pants are mandatory for school!”
  25. “Please take the bug out of your pants.”
  26. “Don’t put water beads in your nose.”
  27. “No, your farts won’t smell minty if you eat a whole box of Thin Mint cookies.”
  28. “Yes, it would hurt if you put hand sanitizer in your eye. Don’t try it.”
  29. “Glue sticks aren’t a substitute for Chapstick.”
  30. “Sounds like you’re having a bad day. Would a sticker help?”

What silly things have you said as a teacher? Join the #teacherlife community for more relatable content!

ALSO CHECK OUT:

30 Silly Things You Wouldn't Hear Any Professional Say Except a Teacher

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Rachael Moshman
Rachael Moshman, M.Ed., an editor at Bored Teachers, is a mom, educator, writer, and advocate for self-confidence. She's been a teacher in classrooms of infants through adult college students. She loves pizza, Netflix and yoga. Connect with her at rachael.m@boredteachers.com
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