The 15 Kinds of Teachers You See in Every Virtual Staff Meeting

The 15 Kinds of Teachers You See in Every Virtual Staff Meeting

Whether you like them or not, virtual staff meetings have become a part of every teacher’s life. Regardless of where you teach, there are certain teacher types that pop up in every one of these meetings. Check out our list of the 15 teachers we see in every virtual faculty meeting and see how many of them you recognize.

1. The Technologically Challenged

Technology doesn’t come easily to everybody… even teachers. There’s always at least one teacher who struggles with every aspect of Zoom meetings. From logging on to getting their video and audio to work, to figuring out the complexities of the group chat… everything becomes an enigma that they just can’t solve. And while a team of co-teachers tries to talk them through it, the rest of us sit… and wait… as patiently as we can.

2. The Uber-techie

On the complete other end of the spectrum we have the super-techie teachers. These young, hip tuned in educators know all the tricks. They’ve mastered options on these meetings that you didn’t even know existed, and they can’t wait to share them with everybody. The rest of us just want the meeting to end quickly, but first we have to spend ten minutes learning how to change the font color in our group chat. Riveting.

3. Captain Background

Closely related to the Uber-techie, this teacher has figured out how to add cool and interesting backgrounds to their screen and spends most of the faculty meeting changing them every 10 seconds. One minute they’re in the Matrix, the next they’re sitting in Hogwarts. How cool… at first. And that’s if it works properly. Most teachers that try to use virtual backgrounds end up looking like some mangled cyborg from a future no one wants to see.

4. Miss Snacks

One of the joys of virtual education is the ability to eat whenever we want, which is nice. Some teachers however take this to the extreme. No matter what time the meeting starts, there they’ll be, chomping on chips or sucking on sodas with their microphones on of course. Nothing derails a faculty meeting quite like the sound of someone chowing down.

5. The Multitasker

Hey, teachers are busy people. We’re used to doing many things at once, and for some teachers that doesn’t stop just because there’s a faculty meeting. You can spot the Multitasker in the Zoom meeting because they’re the one that’s looking at their screen… kinda. They likely have about 17 tabs open on their browser that they’re trying to read all at once. If you ask their opinion on something there’s a 95% chance they will have no idea what you just said.

6. The Overachiever

Another benefit to going virtual is the very relaxed dress code we all have nowadays. Some of us have turned pajamas into a fashion statement all its own. Then there is the Overachiever who treats every faculty meeting like a formal interview. Decked out in their school-year best the Overachiever looks like they’re ready to step back into the classroom at a moment’s notice.

7. Mr. Zero Volume Control

Look, speaking into microphones is not something most of us have spent a lot of time doing. As such, there are some of us that struggle to comprehend just what volume is appropriate to speak at during a Zoom meeting. Then there are those teachers that have somehow decided that the only acceptable volume is to scream at the top of their lungs as if they are addressing a herd of 200 kindergarteners. 

8. The Silent Agreer

Some teachers like to participate during faculty meetings, live or virtual. Others will chime in occasionally if the situation warrants it. Then there’s the Silent Agreer. They stare into their camera looking very engaged with what’s going on, but will never actually say anything. All you’ll get out of them is an approving nod, sometimes they’ll just nod during the entire meeting. Are they agreeing with what we’re saying or rocking out to music that only they can hear? We may never know.

9. The Forever Unmuted

Most of us by now have figured out how to use the mute button, and keep ourselves on mute when we’re not saying anything. Not all of us have mastered this skill however, which is why during every Zoom faculty meeting you’ll hear vacuum cleaners, TVs, boomboxes, blenders, and a host of other noisemakers coming from the home of the Forever Unmuted. And no matter how many times you mention this to them, they’re always surprised that the noise they’re making can be heard by everyone. As if they have no idea how microphones actually work.

10. The Ghost

While some teachers look forward to these Zoom meetings since we haven’t been able to see each other in person, not everyone is as sociable. The Ghost is the teacher that doesn’t enable their microphone or their video, but is always there. Are they really sitting at their computer? Are they paying attention? Are they taking a nap? Who knows!

11. The Pinterest Queen

Zoom meetings have given us all insight into who our fellow teachers are outside of school. Each faculty meeting is an opportunity to get a little sneak peek into what home life is for our teacher buddies. And of course, there is always at least one teacher whose love of Pinterest runs so deep it’s impossible to ignore. These are the teachers that somehow turned a corner of their house into a fully functioning classroom using only common household objects. It’s impressive and intimidating all at the same time.

12. The Uncomfortably Close Teacher

Closely related to the teachers that can’t control the volume of their voice, are the teachers that still haven’t figured out how close to the camera they need to be. We’ve all now seen deep inside at least one teacher’s nose, or stared directly at someone’s eyeball as they believe getting as close to the camera as possible is the best course of action. 

13. Barely Paying Attention

No matter how hard we pretend, faculty Zoom meetings are just different than doing them in person. When we’re all together in one room you feel compelled to follow along and pay attention. Virtually though? Well, let’s just say a few teachers have mastered the art of zoning out. Maybe they’re watching TV or playing on their phone, but one thing is for sure… they have no idea what we’re talking about. 

14. The Last Teacher In/First Teacher Out

Doing everything virtually has really opened up a lot of our schedules. Many teachers have found themselves with free time they’ve never had before, but apparently some of us are very busy indeed. There’s always one teacher that manages to join the Zoom meeting 5 minutes after we’ve started, which means we have to spend the next 5 minutes catching them up on what’s been said. And the minute they think the meeting is over they are gone without a trace. Of course many times the meeting isn’t quite over so one teacher then has to be responsible for tracking them down and explaining what they missed.

15. The Pet-Friendly Teacher

Lots of teachers have pets, but a special few seem to be living in some sort of domesticated zoo. Every time they jump on a Zoom meeting they are joined by dogs, cats, hamsters and every other four and two-legged creature you can pick up at a pet store. It’s like being co-teachers with Jack Hanna.

Also Check Out:

The 15 Kinds of Teachers You See in Every Virtual Staff Meeting

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David Rode

Dave is a middle school math teacher. He's also a musician, a community theater, dad to two amazing children, and he doesn't get a lot of sleep.

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