10 Funny Verbs That Only Teachers Will Understand

2 min


1.3k shares
TEACHER VERBS cover image

Teachers are walking verbs, usually doing multiple things at the same time. Here’s a list of made-up verbs that every teacher is sure to be familiar with!

1. Hanitize

Hanitize - To cover every square inch of your fingers, palms, and forearms with an inch-thick layer of hand sanitizer. A ritual that most students feel the need to perform at least 10 times a day._ Teacher Verbs

To cover every square inch of your fingers, palms, and forearms with an inch-thick layer of hand sanitizer. A ritual that most students feel the need to perform at least 10 times a day.

“I need to buy a case of hand sanitizer, my students were hanitizing again.”

2. Peesqueeze

Peesqueeze_To tighten every muscle in your body in an attempt to keep yourself from peeing in the middle of class. This technique is one of the first skills teachers learn, and eventually master._Teacher Verbs

To tighten every muscle in your body in an attempt to keep yourself from peeing in the middle of class. This technique is one of the first skills teachers learn, and eventually master.

“I peesqueezed for about 2 hours yesterday until my students went to lunch.”

3. Scribblesquint

Scribblesquint_To stare at an assignment, squint your eyes and attempt to decipher what the student was attempting to say because their handwriting is beyond horrible. Every teacher has that one student they are convinced is writing in hieroglyphics.

To stare at an assignment, squint your eyes and attempt to decipher what the student was attempting to say, because their handwriting is beyond horrible. Every teacher has that one student they are convinced is writing in hieroglyphics. 

“I had to scribblesquint so much while reading Bobby’s essay, I now have a migraine.”

4. Disappencil

To make a pencil disappear, sending it to an alternate dimension from whence it will never return. Every child is born knowing how to dissapencil, and there appears to be no known cure.

“I just gave you a pencil 5 minutes ago, where did it go? Did you dissapencil again?”

5. Confersnooze

Confersnooze_To slip into a state of unconsciousness during a staff meeting, usually because it’s so boring and nothing important is being said._“That meeting was so boring I confersnoozed for about 15 minutes. Did I miss anything?”
“No, no you did not.”

To slip into a state of unconsciousness during a staff meeting, usually because it’s so boring and nothing important is being said. 

“That meeting was so boring I confersnoozed for about 15 minutes. Did I miss anything?”
“No, no you did not.”

6. Vacompute (VAY-com-pyoot)

Vacompute_To mentally count down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until the next school vacation. Teachers are naturally excellent at vacomputing especially when it comes to calculating how much time is left before the end of the school year.

To mentally count down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until the next school vacation. Teachers are naturally excellent at vacomputing especially when it comes to calculating how much time is left before the end of the school year.

“Can you vacompute how many days are left until the end of the year?”

“35 days, 5 hours and 14 minutes.”

7. Pagexhaust (PAYJ-ex-awst)

Pagexhaust_To feel worn out and exhausted from having to repeatedly remind students what page we are currently on._Teacher Verbs

To feel worn out and exhausted from having to repeatedly remind students what page we are currently on.

“Guys for the 17th time, we’re on page 318. Now I’m pagexhausted!”

8. Disciplimourn

Disciplimourn_To feel a great amount of regret when you discipline the students because it just ends up making more work for you in the end._Teacher Verbs

To feel a great amount of regret when you discipline the students because it just ends up making more work for you in the end.

“The students were off the wall the other day, so I assigned them an essay. Now I’m disciplimourning because I have to grade them all.”

9. Foodget (food-GET)

Foodget_When you get ready to sit down and finally enjoy your lunch, then realize you have a million other things to do and completely forget your food exists._Teacher Verbs

When you get ready to sit down and finally enjoy your lunch, then realize you have a million other things to do and completely forget your food exists. 

“There I was ready to enjoy my sandwich, but I got pulled into a meeting and completely foodgot again.”

10. Edujuggle

Edujuggle_To simultaneously teach multiple children on multiple learning levels while making sure everyone is safe, secure and having all of their needs met._Teacher Verbs

To simultaneously teach multiple children on multiple learning levels while making sure everyone is safe, secure and having all of their needs met.

“Teaching is exhausting because I have to edujuggle all day long, but it’s very rewarding.”

Other articles you’ll love:

20 Vocabulary Words That Only Make Sense to Teachers

Funny teacher verbs only teachers will understand_Pinterest cover

Like it? Share with your friends!

1.3k shares
David Rode

Legend

I'm currently a Middle School Math Teacher which means I'm also a glutton for punishment. Honestly though, I am keenly aware that Middle School is basically the worst 3 years in the life of a child, so it's my mission to make it suck less. I'm also a musician, a community theater, Dad to two amazing children, and I don't get a lot of sleep.

Choose A Format
Article
Share your amazing stories, tips, opinions, and other stuff that matters.
Video
Upload your funny, inspiring, DIY, or informative video(s) for the world to see!
Personality quiz
Leave the serious quizzes at school, these are strictly fun! You make the questions and pre-define the results.
Trivia quiz
Time to test your friends' knowledge! You choose the subject and have fun seeing who scores the highest!
Poll
Pose any question to millions of educators by creating your own polls/surveys, whether for research, for fun, or for the sake of curiosity!
List
Make your own classic internet listicle using photos, gifs, and/or videos (i.e. '9 Things/Reasons/Times/Ways...', 'Teacher Life: As Told By...', etc.)
Open List
Submit your own item and vote up for the best submission
Photo
Share your classroom decor, costumes, funny classroom antics, silly grading moments, or other teacher life shenanigans!