LAUGH
We’ve all been there. Your body finally gives out, or you get called for jury duty, or something and you have to take a day off from the classroom and prepare for a sub. Some of us are lucky and can pick subs we know and trust, the rest of us are left to roll the dice and see what comes walking through the door. We asked you to tell us about the most outlandish sub you’ve ever had on a Facebook post and y’all did not disappoint!
1. The sub that sees nothing wrong with a little vandalism
Hey admin, go ahead and ask that sub to come back to my classroom and yank those pencils out of the ceiling for me.
2. The sub that has a hard time with setting boundaries
Where did the kids get enough rope to even make this happen? Must be one of those fancy private schools with endless supplies.
3. The sub who gave away the teacher’s entire supply stash
No no, that’s cool. I’ll just spend MORE money I don’t have to restock my supplies. Or should I just send you the bill?
4. The sub that showed off their private parts
And that, boys and girls, is today’s anatomy lesson. No follow up questions please.
5. The sub with scary classroom management skills
As a child, I think I would have been more OK with the sub that was showing the Exorcist while drinking.
6. The sub that leaves a ‘mark’ on your classroom you can never remove
You know what? Just keep the chair. It’s yours now. As a matter of fact, you can keep the trash can too. And the classroom. And all the kids. I’m moving to Aruba.
7. The sub who saw way too much on his first day
Wait it gets worse? How does it get worse? How is a student wiping their butt on an assignment NOT the worst part of the story?
8. The sub that believes whatever the kids tell them
I can only imagine the other students were a combination of shocked and surprised that it actually worked.
9. The sub that gives your students a glimpse into what their future could be
This could actually be a great way to scare your kids straight, if the sub could stick around long enough to tell the story before her parole officer called.
10. The sub who wasn’t ready for this
And that’s our nominee for “World’s Worst Show and Tell Experience.”
11. The sub that apparently had more important things to do
We have no comments for this one.
12. The sub who went on a total power trip
Hey, at least it was all contained within the bottle. This story could have been so much worse. Moral of the story: let kids use the restroom.
13. The sub that showed up in their pajamas
I mean… it’s not like we all haven’t dreamed of doing that ourselves from time to time. The robe and slipper combo? Inspired!
14. The sub that can’t handle any negative response
If I cried every time a student told me ‘no’, I’d be a dehydrated husk by the end of the day.
15. The Exorcist sub
Did the sub drink enough to also vomit pea soup? Sounds like she’s the one that needs a priest!
16. A 2-for-1 special! The sub that’s clearly oversharing AND the sub that is just as bad as the students
In my head I imagine that these two subs met weeks later, fell madly in love and created a terrifying couple.
17. The sub that does not respect personal space or property
You can’t be intrusive AND wrong. You gotta just pick one and stick with it.
18. The sub that believes all children under the age of 18 are basically the same
I mean, I’ve met many a middle schooler that acted like kindergartners so he wasn’t completely wrong.
19. The sub that is way, way past their prime, and the sub that is way, way out of their league
I can’t tell which of these subs I would rather have. Do I want my students to be unsupervised for a day, or end up with unfortunate infections?
20. The sub that taught kids to twerk
Twerking? Really? He didn’t even have the decency to start off with the Cupid Shuffle or the Macarena?
21. The sub that is existing on vibes, my dude
Yeah I’m gonna need you to take your transcendental meditation and get up outta my classroom!
22. The sub who relies on the power of the lord to get through the day
Wow, she didn’t highlight a passage or two. She didn’t mark a specific chapter. Just.. you are gonna need the whole damn bible to fix this? Who were you teaching, the children of the corn?
