LAUGH
Us teachers love our jobs, but come April/May, we, too, start to get that summer itch. We can clearly see the finish line, but it feels like we are running towards it in slow motion while thirty students hang off of our every limb. Here are ten ways you can tell that it is near the end of the school year for teachers.
1. Your students have forgotten how to follow any and all directions.
You know those rules and procedures that have been in place since September? It’s like they have been magically erased from every child’s mind overnight. Why are you throwing things in my class? Why are you entering my room like a screaming banshee? I know it’s spring, but our rules that have been in place for the past 130 days still apply.
2. You have reached a level of tired you didn’t know existed.
The bags under our eyes even have bags! We need a Trenta-sized cold brew from Starbucks every morning and we don’t even remember if we put on deodorant after we showered. It’s best to steer clear of our groggy, incoherent selves.
3. You can no longer pack yourself a lunch.
I’ll take that day-old bagel in the teacher’s lounge and a Coke from the vending machine. Lunch of champions! It’s also the only food I can manage to find seeing how my teacher-tired brain can no longer be bothered to prep lunch the night before. Stale carbs it is!
4. You have lost all patience.
If someone so much as breathes on us the wrong way, we will karate chop them and/or lower their grade. Namastay away from me, student, before I completely lose it.
5. Learning objectives/targets get thrown out the window.
Remember in October when we had some pretty creative lesson plans and some well-aligned learning targets? Well, those days are long gone! Our learning objective is now to make it past noon with everyone alive.
6. Your appearance resembles a “before” pic on a makeover TV show.
Gone are the days of looking cute and Insta Teacher perfect. I’ve got acne on my face, dry shampoo in my hair, and mismatched clothes on my body. I’m just proud if I find time to take a shower and put some clean pants on.
7. The limit does not exist on your level of stress.
Grades, state testing, special schedules, oh my! The end of the school year is enough to bring on an ulcer in even the most type B of personalities. You may be a few emotional meltdowns away from insanity, but hang in there! The end is in sight!
8. You start fantasizing about what you will do on summer break.
Sleeping in! Peeing whenever you would like! Reading a book that isn’t for 3rd graders! Our minds go wild with the crazy possibilities of a relaxing summer vacation when we go from extras on “The Walking Dead” to real human beings again.
9. Your motivational talks to yourself in the mirror become more frequent.
You can do this! You are a strong, beautiful teacher who is capable of surviving another day in the trenches! You go, Glen Coco!
10. You start to get super sentimental.
Another year has gone by and another class of students is graduating. You will never again experience the memorable, remarkable year you just had with members of the next generation. They have stolen your sanity along with your heart. And you will never be the same.
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