LAUGH
Teachers sometimes seem to have their own language. Here’s just a brief list of words you may hear teachers utter from time to time.
1. Copyphobia
The fear that all teachers have that they will be the one to break the copy machine, thus drawing the ire of the rest of the staff.
2. Mondoscopy
A procedure all teachers perform Sunday evening to confirm that yes, tomorrow is in fact Monday. The procedure always yields positive results, yet all teachers perform it every week just to be sure.
3. Confercoma
A deep state of unconsciousness teachers slip into during staff meetings, generally brought on by long presentations that could easily have been sent as an email.
4. Fridasia
When you spend all day thinking it’s Friday only to discover it’s Wednesday, sending you into a spiral of sadness and depression.
5. Plansgiving
The time of year when teachers are nice enough to share lesson plans with their grade level.
6. Desktastrophe
When no matter how you draw up your seating chart you still end up with kids sitting together that should be separated.
7. Lunacalypse
The disaster that befalls your classroom during a full moon when students go completely nuts.
8. Hugsaulted
When you walk into a room full of kindergarteners and they all rush to hug you at once, putting you in a very uncomfortable position.
9. Deja Do
When you have to repeatedly tell your students what to do because they refuse to listen to instructions the first time.
10. Jeanphoria
The inexplicable feeling of joy a teacher feels any time they are allowed to wear jeans to school.
11. Edudextrous
An ability all teachers have, to teach multiple concepts to multiple students on multiple learning levels all at the same time.
12. Techollapse
When all the technology in your classroom decides to stop working at once, usually right when you need it the most.
13. Bathvalanche
The phenomenon that occurs when one student asks to go to the bathroom, suddenly everyone has to go as well.
14. Grindloathing
The intense hatred teachers feel towards the sound of a student sharpening their pencil during a lesson.
15. Sneezestupification
The general feeling of shock the entire class feels when they are quietly testing and a student randomly uncorks the world’s loudest sneeze.
16. Observehension
A feeling of dread a teacher has when their class is going completely bonkers, but admin is coming any minute to obverse you.
17. Time-hoping
When there are 3 minutes left in class and students stare at the clock hoping it will magically jump forward.
18. Decorivalry
An unspoken competition between teachers in the same hallway to see who can have the most decorated classroom.
19. Pinteresession
A deep obsession many teachers have with trying to recreate every single cute classroom idea they find on Pinterest.
20. Quiznesia
When no matter how many times you remind a class, they all seem to forget that the quiz was today.
