LAUGH
Whoever thought we would miss the days of “My dog ate my homework”? Generation Z, the group of students born in the late 90s and early 2000s, are always prepared with the most ludicrous, maddening, and downright hilarious excuses as to why they haven’t completed an assignment. Here are 20 student excuses from our newest generation.
I couldn’t do my assignment because…
1. “Our WiFi was down.”
It was math…to be completed…by hand…
2. “I spent all night trying to think of a witty Instagram caption”
Me too, kind student, me too. Those captions will get you every time!
3. “My mom said homework should be optional and I just didn’t feel like doing it.”
I wish the same applied to my job.
4. “I was vomiting all night so I couldn’t get anything done.”
Sweet child, why are you here?! Go back to your hole!
5. “You never said it was due today.”
So why did I write it on the board, announce it for the last week in class, and post it online?
6. “I was up all night on Twitch TV.”
Can someone please tell me what the appeal is for watching random people play online games? I honestly do not get it.
7. “I spent all night creating memes and I started an Instagram handle. Would you like to see?”
No, never.
8. “I memorized the words to all of the Cardi B raps on the radio right now. Want to hear?”
Seeing how they are most likely not school appropriate, I would not.
9. “Miss, I slid into so many DMs last night, it was insane!”
Please slide your homework assignment into my inbox.
10. “I had to work on my Youtube channel”.
You will never be Jojo Siwa, so stop trying!
11. “Yesterday was national Peanut Butter Day. You didn’t really expect us to get things done on that day, did you?”
What was I thinking when I assigned homework on National Peanut Butter Day?! The horror.
12. “I fell down a rabbit hole on Tumblr and started questioning the meaning of life.”
Tumblr at 10 p.m. is never a good idea. Just say no!
13. “I had three hours of basketball practice last night.”
Tough shit. Please plan your time better.
14. “My mom was out of town and she normally writes my essays for me.”
SAY, WHAT?! I knew that thesis statement was too good to be true!
15. “My printer ran out of toner.”
Problem solve! Email it to me! Print it out at a friend’s house!
16. “I did it, but I forgot it at home. Can I still get full credit?”
If you figure out how to magically make it appear in my hand within the next 5 seconds, then sure.
17. “I couldn’t find the right filter for my picture.”
Oh, the problems of today’s youth.
18. “Siri couldn’t tell me the answers, so I couldn’t do it.”
That darn, Siri! Incorrigible!
19. “I just had way too many people Snapchatting me.”
What a hard life you lead.
20. “I was playing Fortnite! #sorrynotsorry”
I miss the days of fidget spinners, Harambe, and bottle flipping.
