LAUGH
It’s only a few weeks into 2018, and all those new year resolutions don’t seem to be getting any easier. Most days, you contemplate dragging yourself out of bed at 5 am for that morning jog, or skipping that 5 pm yoga session you signed up for.
You haven’t washed last week’s shaker bottles, half-full of some green protein juice, that tasted like the cafeteria broccoli. You walk by the BOGO deals on Valentine’s candy on your way to the fruit section at the grocery store, saying to yourself “Look away, look away!” Your FitBit hasn’t been charged in three days and you honestly don’t have a clue where the charger is.
You start to wave the white flag and make up a bunch of excuses to convince yourself you’re not a quitter.
“Screw it, I’m not going anywhere for spring break anyway!” and “Really, who do I need to impress at the beach?”
As teachers, we have so many forces working against us that either leave us too tired to wake up early, or too exhausted at the end of the day to even fathom getting yelled at during boot camp.
But have no fear. Just change your thinking about some of your daily school activities, and you’ll burn all the calories you need!
The Ultimate Teacher Workout Plan
1. Steps
Take a step every time you hear your name. Your FitBit won’t be able to keep up by 10am.
2. Water
Take a drink of water every time there is a spill or somebody drops something in your classroom. You’ll have your water intake done by 12.
3. Squats
Use the kindergarten chairs to get your squats in. Nothing says working out the glutes like getting up out of those dang things all day.
4. Arms
Carry their backpacks to them and get your arm workout in. Nothing will get you toned quicker than those heavy backpacks stuffed with who knows what.
5. Shoulders
Whenever you want to speak, raise your own hand. Maybe after the 1,000th rep your students will take after your modeling. Who am I kidding, do another 1,000.
6. Back
Tell them not to pick up any crayon or pencil they leave on the floor. You’ll do about 100 deadlifts every day.
7. Calves
Put your chocolate on top of the dusty boxes on your file cabinet. That way you have to stretch every hour on your tip toes to get that sweet treat.
8. Abs
Instead of just dropping your head in disbelief, do a whole body crunch every time they give you “that” answer.
9. Love handles
Stand sideways at the printer and while you make 100 copies of that “busy work” pick up every single page as it comes out.
10. Cardio
Try these special moments out to really put you over the edge.
- Run the tissues over to every kid sneezing coughing.
- Give a kindergartener some of that candy, then chase them on bus duty.
- Sprint to the bathroom when you get a chance to go, and sprint back (most of us already have to do this).
11. Biceps
Superglue a paperweight to the bottom of your travel mug so every time you go to sip your coffee, you’ll be toning up those biceps, too. Be sure to alternate arms!
12. Long distance endurance
Run through the playground during recess and tag all the students while saying “Tag, you’re it.” Then run for your life, because they will not stop. *Warning: Do not do this wearing any clothes you don’t plan on ever wearing again.
This article was written by Andy McCall. Andy is in his 9th year teaching and does everything to honor his little girl, Penelope, who passed last year. He is the author of the new book: Pig & Steel. Check him out on his Blog.
