The world of teaching is filled with professional jargon, and other relentlessly boring phrases. Fortunately, our students keep our spirits alive with their own hilarious language choices. We asked our fellow teachers to comment with weird ways students have affirmed them. Below are the funniest compliments that we and our teacher readers have ever received from our students.

1. When the “You are SO beautiful” compliments go sideways

Students love to give us compliments on our personal appearance, but sometimes they go wrong:

  • “I like your makeup, Mrs. Epperson. It’s dark…like my soul.”
  • We were defining the word “compliment” in social skills group. One student said “it’s if I said you are pretty Mrs. Smith, well not today, but if you ever were”.
  • “You’re pretty in that dress. You should wear that dress more. Maybe then you’d have a boyfriend.”
  • “Like, you’re really pretty Mrs. McCorkle, but makeup helps everyone.”
  • “I love to hug you, you’re so squishy! “
  • “I know why your belly is so big…To hold your big heart!”
  • “I was wearing an orange-hued plaid dress and brown boots: “You look like a really stylish scarecrow.”
  • “I wore makeup, heels and dressed up for an award ceremony. A student shouted “Mrs. West is trying to steal someone’s daddy today!”
  • “Wore a dress to school. Wow, you look like a professional teacher. Last I checked… I was.”
  • “A kid told me I looked like a hot air balloon–I was 8 months pregnant wearing a solid blue shirt.”
  • “A little third-grade girl wrote a note to me that said, “You are prettier than a cow.”
  • “After applying a little extra make-up for school photos a little girl told me I looked pretty when I made an effort.”
  • “You look really pretty with your hair down!” She said it while my hair was up in a bun.

2. The ones that make you laugh out loud… or cry!

  • “Why do you have bacon tattooed on the back of your neck” (it’s my Aquarius ♒️ zodiac symbol)… Needless to say, a few years later I got it redone to look less like two strips of bacon and more like a zodiac sign.”
  • Me (School Nurse): helps kiddo open juice box
    8 yr old Kid: :::says nothing:::
    Me: what’s something nice to say when someone helps you?
    Kid: The nurses here are phenomenal!
  • “Miss! You always look so happy and smiling… like you don’t really know what’s going on.” 
  • “I love you, Mrs. Lariscy! My mama doesn’t like you, but I love you!”
  • “I like your outfit! You remind me of that cat…you know (I’m thinking Cat Woman…meowww). You know that cat, Mrs. G. The one that chases that yellow bird.” ——Sylvester???——wow
  • “Wow, you’re really smart. Did you ever think of becoming a real teacher?”
  • “You tie shoes faster than God.”
  • “I hate you less than the others!”
  • When I was being observed, “Wow ms Sauceda you sure are in a really good mood today.”
  • “You smell like good cheese! And the art room!”
  • “As a school bus driver I had a 3rd-grade girl stop as she was about to exit the bus…in her little white dress, she put her hands on her hips, looked around and said, “I appreciate that you cleaned your bus!”
  • “You’re like a finely tuned guitar not too tight…you know, not too strict and not too loose you know not too laid back. You’re just right.”
  • “As we were studying percentages, a student told me that she was 100% skinny and I was 40% skinny.”

3. Kids actually creeping us out

Kids can get away with the weirdest stuff sometimes, including complimenting things that would sound creepy in literally any other context:

  • “You smell like beautiful.”
  • “You remind me of my mom!”
    Me: “Really? Why is that?”
    “Because my mom’s breasts sag!”
  • “Miss… You always smell like little cookies!”
  • “Your hair reminds me of curly fries. Not the ones at the bottom, the good ones you actually eat!”
  • “With your hair you look like a mysterious witch from the woods. But a nice one.”
  • “I am not from the U.S but have been living here for 20+ years. On Valentines Day, one student slipped me a note saying, “I wouldn’t deport you.”

4. Students reminding us how “OLD” we are.

Tenured teachers are immensely valuable in the classroom, but students don’t always realize that. These mainly backhanded compliments were given to several of our readers:

  • “I was told by my students that I was a good artist because I didn’t have electricity as a child and had nothing better to do.”
  • “I didn’t know you can bend down!”
  • “I wish I could come home with you. You got them ‘I know how to cook from scratch’ arms. I miss my grandma… My mommy doesn’t know how to cook.”
  • “Your gray hair sparkles in the sunlight. It’s teacher glitter!”
  • “When you die can I have your clothes and jewelry?”
  • “Oh, your skin is so soft. I just love old people’s skin!”

5. When students try to play matchmakers

Some students want us to adopt them, even though they know we can’t:

  • “My mom says she knows you from high school. Did you date her? Are you my dad?”
  • “Do you have a girlfriend?”…“Nope.”…“Do you have a wife?”…”Nope.”….“Do you want to marry my mom?”
  • “Ms. Clark, my daddy asked me if I wanted you to be my stepmother!”
  • “You look so good today you could get a number at the gas station.”
  • “Are you single? Cause you should date my dad! How do you feel about guys who vape?”

6. The compliments we never forget.

It’s true – sometimes kids get away with giving compliments that are strange, confusing, or downright insults. But these students still hold a special place in our hearts because they are OUR kids.

As one reader so perfectly put it, “The biggest compliment is when they call me MOM!”

  • “I got a letter from a long ago former student saying when her mom died the year I was her teacher, I made her feel like she still had a mom.”
  • “A kindergarten girl won a good behavior drawing. She won “lunch with a teacher and a friend.” Her teacher asked her to pick a friend to eat with her and the teacher the next day. . . She looked all around the room and then walked over to give me a hug. . . and said in her most proud voice. . . “I choose Mrs. S!”
  • “Ms. Simpson, you are like my SUPPORT PERSON.” 
The Funniest Compliments We've Heard From Our Students