While teachers are not comedians and shouldn’t stress about constantly entertaining their students, jokes, puns, and humor can have an important role in the classroom – even if it’s just for fun! Laughing releases feel-good hormones, which can help your students relax and destress, making jokes a great way to wind down after a big test or when the last kid has completed their big presentation. Break out any one of these grammar jokes and your students might actually learn something while they’re cracking up.

  1. What dinosaur knows the most synonyms? A thesaurus.
  2. Why did the punctuation mark break up with the apostrophe? He was too possessive.
  3. Why did the grammar teacher go to jail? For improper conjugation.
  4. What is an English teacher’s favorite kind of music? Prose.
  5. Why did the subject break up with the predicate? They didn’t agree.
  6. What do you call a group of commas hanging out? A comma-nity.
  7. How do you comfort an English teacher?  By gently saying “there, they’re, their.”
  8. What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.
  9. What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate? The noun declined.
  10. What is a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation.
  11. Why are writers always cold? They are surrounded by drafts.
  12. What did the pregnant English teacher yell when she went into labor? Couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t – she was having contractions.
  13. What did the intransitive verb say when someone said it was pretty? Nothing – intransitive verbs can’t take complements.
  14. How do you know if a surgeon is bad with punctuation? If he gets fired for leaving out a colon.
  15. What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws? It was given two consecutive sentences.
  16. What did one punctuation mark say to the other punctuation mark when they saw each other in a restaurant? “Do you comma here often?”
  17. What did the grammar teacher say to her students before the big test? “Metaphors be with you!”
  18. What happened when one grammar teacher fell in love with another grammar teacher? She told him they were a lost clause.
  19. How do grammar teachers really party? They verb-alize all night long.
  20. What did the noun say to the adjective after a job well done? “Great describing you!”
  21. What do you call a verb that’s always working out? An action figure.
  22. How do verbs apologize for their mistakes? They promise to get their actions in line.
  23. Why wasn’t the English teacher good at telling jokes? He was always using the wrong pun-cutation.
  24. Why was the editor always correcting mistakes? He had the write edit-tude.
  25. What is the best name for a grammar police officer? Ann Noying.
  26. What is the best name for an English teacher? Lexi Con.
  27. What did the English teacher tell her students before they started writing their essays? Make sure to capitalize on your grammar knowledge.
  28. Did you hear about the English teacher who had colon surgery? Now he’s a semi-colon.
  29. Is there a word that uses all the vowels, including y? Unquestionably.
  30. Why wouldn’t the pronoun go out with the noun? He kept propositioning her.
  31. Why is nostalgia like grammar? We find the present tense and the past perfect.
  32. Why did the words and the punctuation end up in court? To be sentenced.
  33. What do you call an English teacher who knows how to code? A pro-grammar.
  34. What happened to the student who got hit in the head with a grammar book? He’s still in a comma.
  35. What is an English teacher’s favorite breakfast? Synonym rolls.
  36. Why did the grammar teacher go to jail for so long? He had a run-on sentence.
  37. What is Buzz Lightyear’s favorite part about English grammar? To-infinitive!
  38. What type of blood do people genetically predisposed to spelling and grammar errors have? Type O (typo).
  39. Why was the English book looking thinner than last year? He had his appendix removed.
  40. What is an English teacher’s favorite game? Pin the apostrophe to the contraction.
  41. Why don’t English teachers get their work done? They are too busy reading between the lines.
  42. Why was the dictionary feeling sad? He couldn’t find the right definition for happiness.
  43. What happened when a math teacher tried to teach an English class? His jokes failed to factor.
  44. Why couldn’t the book lover decide whether to marry a dictionary or a thesaurus? It was a novel dilemma.
  45. Knock, knock. Who’s there? To. To Who? No, to whom.
  46. How do you spell composition with two letters? SA (essay)
  47. What did one pirate say to another pirate when told “the cannons be ready.” Are.
  48. Why is it important to follow grammar rules? Rules is rules.
  49. Why didn’t the English student do his homonym homework? He thought it was a reel waist of thyme.
  50. Who is the grammar police officer’s sidekick? The corrections officer.
  51. How many grammar teachers does it take to change a lightbulb? Too.
  52. What did the pest control officer say when he saw the alphabet? I’ve seen black ants and fire ants, but I’ve never seen conson-ants.
  53. Why did the student put on sunglasses and a swimsuit to write her book report? Her teacher told her to summer-ize the story.
  54. Why didn’t the question mark and exclamation mark like the movie? It was a period piece.
  55. Why were the verbs afraid of the letters e and d together? They are known to have taken action in the past.
  56. Why do English teachers enjoy writing so much? It’s a re-wording experience.
  57. Why did the writing teacher fail her students’ essays about gravity? They fell flat.
  58. What is a comma’s dream job? A comma-edian.
  59. Why does a period always carry a pen? To dot his i’s and cross his t’s.
  60. What did the comma say to the other punctuation marks when they got lost? “We better comma up with a plan.”
  61. What is a comma’s favorite song? Comma Chameleon
  62. Why didn’t the English student write his essay? He couldn’t find the write words.
  63. A bookstore owner was injured when a shelf fell on him. He only has his shelf to blame.
  64. The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
  65. Why did the children enjoy their English class? It was write up their alley.
  66. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
  67.  Synonym rolls: just like grammar used to make!
  68. Never leave alphabet soup on the stove when you’re not home. It could spell disaster.
  69. Double negatives are a big no-no.
  70. When I was young, there were only 25 letters in the alphabet. Nobody knew why.
  71. Last night someone broke into the school and stole all the teachers’ dictionaries. I’m at a loss for words.
  72. There is a special tax for people who destroy the English language. It’s called syntax.
  73. English teachers are always write!
  74. The grammar police arrested the comma. It was caught giving too many pauses.
  75. Commas save lives. For example, “Let’s eat, Grandma” vs. “Let’s eat Grandma.”
  76. I’m not a fan of run-on sentences. They go on and on and on.
  77. An adjective and adverb attended the same party. It was a clause for concern.
  78. A noun and a verb went on a date, but they couldn’t agree on anything.
  79. Why did the adjective broke up with the noun? Because it was too possessive.
  80. The English class was reading a book about gravity. The students just couldn’t put it down.
  81. You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ran since it’s past tents.
  82. Whoever put the b in the word subtle deserves a pat on the back.
  83. Bad spelling makes me [sic].
  84. Every time you make an error, the errorists win.
  85. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  86. Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.
  87.  The teacher asked a student to name two pronouns. He said, “Who, me?”
  88. Eight vowels, 11 consonants, an exclamation point, and a comma appeared in court today. They will be sentenced next week.
  89. An oxymoron walked into a bar. The silence was deafening.
  90. Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
  91. So many teachers are concerned about proper grammar. I couldn’t care fewer.
  92. Hyphenated. Un-hyphenated. Ironic.
  93. We’re going to cut and paste kids! Commas matter.
  94. Irony is when someone writes “your an idiot.”
  95. A woman who was being robbed yelled, “help a thief!” The police officer helped the thief run away with her purse. Missing commas help criminals.
  96. Every time I see someone write “tho,” I say “ugh,” which are the exact letters missing.
  97. Comma outbreak! Editors working to determine the clause.
  98. Language teachers have a way with words.
  99. The period and the ellipse got into an argument. It ended abruptly…
  100. A student entered ten puns into a writing contest hoping one would win. No pun in ten did.

There you have it! One hundred jokes to have your students in stitches!

100 Grammar Jokes and Puns for Teachers