Ahhhh, the school year has finally come to an end, and teachers everywhere just finished their final countdown to summer bliss. We were down to shouting the number of days left to our coworkers (like the Count on Sesame Street) as we pass them in the hall: five more days, four more days, three days….AhAhAhAh!

The end-of-year checklists, room teardown, and the bitter sweetness that comes with the end of the school year all just came and went.

As we wrapped things up, we received our final evaluations from admin. You know the one…filled with phrases like “implements flexible grouping strategies” and “uses data with intentionality.”

But what if, just once, we could flip the script? Yes, that’s right: performance reviews for our students that not only acknowledge their grades but also their quirky traits that define The Average Student. Sit back, because these could be good.

1. Attendance and punctuality

Well, either you have it or you don’t in this area. Some students are as punctual as a dog at dinnertime and are waiting at the door for you. Others, you have to send the attendance officer out because they only show up for half of the week. 

Comments:

  • Present, on time, but asleep the majority of the time.
  • Arrives late after stopping for Taki’s and a Red Bull.
  • Walks in an hour late, shouting, “I’m here, everyone!” expecting all occupants to stand and roll out a red carpet.

2. Student productivity

Truthfully, we have students of all types. Some take five minutes to finish a task. Some focus for ten seconds and then must get a drink, sharpen their pencils, and head to the restroom. The struggle to balance is very real.

Comments:

  • Showed impressive productivity when creating a paperclip slingshot.
  • Utilizes exceptional delegation strategies to have a classmate complete 99.9999% of the assignment.
  • Perfectly capable of finishing an assignment in 15 minutes, but prefers to talk and take it home to complete.

3. Participation and engagement

Enthusiasm levels varied. Some students spent the morning in a fog and came alive only at lunchtime. Others? Full-volume energy all day long… primarily directed at everything except the lesson.

Comments:

  • Raises hand consistently. Doesn’t always know why.
  • Shouts “FINISHED!” after every problem is completed, including bathroom and brain breaks.
  • Engaged in talking to students next to them, no matter how many times they have been moved to a different seat. 
  • Answers before the question is asked. Loudly. Incorrectly.

4. Behavior and self-regulation

Regulation is tough. Adults lose their cool when someone cuts them off in traffic or takes too long at the self-checkout. So, asking a 7-year-old to stay calm when someone cuts in line or breathes too loudly? That’s huge.

Comments:

5. Teamwork and collaboration

Group work brought out the best and worst. Some students carried the team. Others were simply there for moral support and to pick arguments.

Comments:

  • Excellent at group work, as long as the other group members do everything.
  • Has a hard time when they don’t get to pick their own partner.
  • Excellent at assigning roles but not completing them.

6. Organizational skills

We have Type A and Type B students in our classrooms. The desks of Type A students are neatly organized with not a stray sheet of paper in sight. The latter has papers coming out of the back, sides, and creases of the desk.

Comments:

  • Claims to have “definitely turned it in.” We’re still waiting.
  • Wrappers from Halloween show up in May.
  • Never has a pencil. Twenty come rolling out on desk cleaning day.

Final evaluation

Overall Rating: Meets Expectations of Driving their Teacher Crazy (Sometimes exceeds)

As the year comes to a close with all its outrageous moments and the daily uphill battle to get students to learn, grow, and occasionally raise their hands, we look back with a strange combination of exhaustion and gratitude.

We survived the full moon behavior spikes, the Halloween party, cell phone battles, and the “What do we do?” despite having explained the directions four times.

And yet, here we are, proud of the growth, success, and memories that were all made in the course of one school year. One long school year.

To our students: You made us laugh. You made us think. You made us cry tears of frustration and happiness. And yes, you made us question everything we thought we knew about behavior management.

But most of all, you made it all worth it.

If Teachers had Year-End Performance Reviews for their Student