LAUGH
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when hundreds of exhausted, overworked, under-appreciated educators are released into a theater with adult beverages and permission to laugh at the chaos of their jobs, welcome to the Bored Teachers Comedy Tour!
It’s basically a giant staff meeting, except you laugh instead of rolling your eyes.
Here are the 10 types of teachers you’re guaranteed to spot the moment the lights go down and the intro music hits.
1. The “Do NOT let me be seen laughing about bodily functions” teacher
This teacher spends the entire night clutching their pearls and pretending they’re way too refined to laugh at jokes about crop-dusting your students.
But don’t worry…. the second a comedian tells a story about a kid sneezing directly into their mouth, this teacher SNORTS. LOUDLY.
Facade destroyed.
2. The teacher who definitely, absolutely, 100% pees a little
This is the teacher who has spent years suppressing giggles during reading groups, staff meetings, and kids farting on accident. So, when the comedy tour finally lets them laugh for real, they explode into wheezing, crying, doubled-over hysterics…
And, yes, a tiny leak. Where’s the teacher with the change of clothes in her purse? See number 5.
3. The cricut queens
You’ll spot them instantly: matchy-matchy shirts and perfectly weeded vinyl decals.
They march in like Stepford wives while the rest of the audience tries to read the catchy slogans printed across their chests.
They are the real divas.
4. The “what happens in Vegas” teacher
Except it’s “What Happens at the Bored Teachers’ Show” that stays at the Bored Teachers’ Show.
Every show has that one person who goes from “tired educator” to enjoying the libations a little too much.
They’re dancing, shouting, waving their hands, and at some point, they are this close to climbing on stage to give a shout-out to their school.
Security doesn’t even escort them out. The tour staff just expects we need to let the crazy out. They know what we deal with.
5. The teacher with the bottomless Mary Poppins bag
Hungry for a snack?
Need hand sanitizer?
Need ibuprofen, a glue stick, a safety pin, or a full-on change of clothing?
This teacher has your back and everything else you may need stuffed in the Gigantic Teacher Tote.
6. The “I’m only here because my team dragged me” teacher
They arrive with crossed arms, muttering things like:
“I really shouldn’t be out. I go to bed early.”
“I don’t even like stand-up comedy.”
But the moment the intro music hits?
They’re clapping off-beat like their life depends on it.
By the end of the show, they’re first in line to meet the cast and buy the “FTK” towel.
7. The teacher who treats this like a staff meeting
These teachers take notes.
They nod thoughtfully.
They whisper things like, “That’s so true. I should bring this up at PLC.”
Please do not tell them this is not professional development.
It truly is.
8. The gossiping teacher who lives for the post-show tea
This is the teacher who spends the entire comedy tour quietly collecting material for tomorrow’s staff-room recap. They’re the first to whisper, “Did you see how much she drank?” or “Wow, wonder if she’s dating Mr. Smith?”
By the next morning, they’ve turned one wild night into a full-blown Netflix series, and everyone’s name somehow ends up in the story.
9. The first real night out in a year teacher
They put on real pants.
They put on real lipstick and not just Burt’s Bees.
Unprecedentedly, they left the house AFTER 6 PM.
They are living their absolute best life and will talk about this night for the rest of the school year.
10. The teacher who doesn’t realize how much they needed this
They start out exhausted and not really wanting to be there. They dreaded coming.
But by the end?
They’re laughing, crying, wiping mascara off their chin, and high-fiving their colleagues. Because sometimes all teachers need is a room full of people who get it and the permission to laugh about the absolute absurdity of our everyday lives.
Final Bell
Whether you’re the Cricut Coordinator, the Almost-Pee-er, or the teacher climbing onstage yelling, “SHOUTOUT TO MRS. GARCIA’S 2ND GRADE!!!” one thing’s for sure:
You’ll leave with your teacher soul a little lighter…
…even if you did have to stop by the merch table for an oversized shirt because you laughed so hard you, well… you know. Also, don’t miss Miss Smith’s take on all the different types of teachers you’ll spot at the comedy tour!
