Valentine’s Day is a much-loved holiday for kids. What’s not to love? Our students look forward to getting candy, trinkets, and a stack of cards saying nice things. While Cupid might be looking to spread some love, you can spread some additional fun and humor in your classroom with a few well-timed Valentine’s-themed jokes. Jokes are a great way to help get through a day full of sugar-fueled excitement, so here are 100 giggle-inducing Valentine’s Day jokes to get you started.

  1. What did the volcano write on his Valentine’s Day cards? I lava you.
  2. What did the stamp say to the Valentine’s Day card envelope? I’m stuck on you!
  3. What did the ghost call his partner? His ghoul-friend.
  4. Why do boat oars make the best Valentine? Because they are so row-mantic.
  5. What do farmers give for Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses.
  6. What did the snail ask his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? Will you be my Valen-slime?
  7. What did the light bulb write on his Valentine’s Day cards? I love you a whole watt.
  8. Why didn’t the Valentine’s candy box arrive on time? Because it was choco-LATE.
  9. What did one Jedi say to the other Jedi on Valentine’s Day? Yoda the one for me.
  10. What did the chef say to his girlfriend? You’re bacon me crazy!
  11. How did the doorbell propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
  12. What kind of flower should you never give? Cauliflower.
  13. What did the kitten say on Valentine’s Day? You’re purr-fect.
  14. Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day? He was heartless.
  15. What do you call a small valentine? A valen-tiny.
  16. What do pickles in love say? I love you a great dill!
  17. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re one in a melon.
  18. How do you tell a coffee-lover that you love them? I cannot espresso how much you mean to me.
  19. What did the ghost tell his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? You are so boo-tiful.
  20. What did the triangle say to her boyfriend? You’re acute one!
  21. Why did the sheriff put his girlfriend in jail on Valentine’s Day? She stole his heart.
  22. What do you tell a pig on February 14? Happy Valen-swine’s Day!
  23. How do you keep a jewelry store safe on Valentine’s Day? You locket.
  24. What do you call sweets that can keep a beat? Candy wrappers.
  25. What did the painter write in her boyfriend’s Valentine’s Day card? I love you with all my art.
  26. What is Cupid’s favorite band? KISS.
  27. What do you call two birds in love? Tweet-hearts.
  28. How can you tell a squirrel is in love? He goes nuts.
  29. What did one blueberry say to the other on February 14? I love you berry much.
  30. What did one sheep say to the other. I love ewe!
  31. What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day? I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.
  32. Why is Valentine’s Day a good day for a party? Because you can party heart-y.
  33. What do owls say to declare their love? Owl always be yours.
  34. Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they are so scent-imental.
  35. What did Robin Hood say to his Valentine? Sherwood like to be yours.
  36. Why was the bunny hopping around happily? He found some bunny to love!
  37. What did the French cat send his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? Chocolate mouse.
  38. Where did the burger take his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? To the meatball.
  39. What did the orca say to her boyfriend on February 14? Whale you be mine?
  40. What did the drum say to his sweetheart? My heart beats for you.
  41. What did the snake write in her Valentine’s Day cards? Hugs and hisses.
  42. What did one bee say to the other bee? Will you bee mine?
  43. What did the needle say to the thread? I love you sew much.
  44. Why was the fork so busy on Valentine’s Day? He had so many valen-TINES.
  45. How did the scientist declare his love? He said, “we’ve got good chemistry!”
  46. How did the phone propose to his true love? He gave her a ring.
  47. What flower gives the most kisses on Valentine’s Day? Tulips.
  48. What did Frankenstein say to his bride? Will you be my valen-STEIN?
  49. What did the shoe say to the shoelace? You’re my sole-mate.
  50. What is the most romantic type of boat? A relation-ship.
  51. Why did everyone want to be the banana’s valentine? She was very a-peeling.
  52. What did the bat tell his Valentine’s Day date? You’re fun to hang out with.
  53. What shade of red is your heart? Beat red!
  54. Why should you date a goalie? Because he is a keeper.
  55. Why are artichokes the most romantic vegetable? They have hearts.
  56. What did one flame say to the other on Valentine’s Day? We’re a perfect match.
  57. What did one houseplant say to the other? Do you be-leaf in true love?
  58. What did the dustpan say to the broom? You sweep me off my feet!
  59. What did the doorknob write in his Valentine’s Day cards? I a-door you.
  60. Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
  61. How did the coin propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a jingle.
  62. What do you call a heart who loves to read? Well-red.
  63. Why did the magnet ask a refrigerator for a date? He found her quite attractive.
  64. What did one slice of toast say to the other? You’re my butter half.
  65. When do bedbugs fall in love? In the spring.
  66. How did two prunes confirm their Valentine’s Day plans? They said it was a date.
  67. How did the vegetable ask for a date? Peas be my Valentine!
  68. What are insects called when they are dating? Lovebugs.
  69. What do you call someone with a cold on Valentine’s Day? Lovesick.
  70. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion.
  71. What did the elephant say to her boyfriend? I love you a ton!
  72. What did one teddy bear say to the other on February 14? I love you bear-y much.
  73. How does a buck express his love to his girlfriend? He says, “You’re a deer!”
  74. Why did the girl put Valentine’s Day candy under her pillow? She wanted to have sweet dreams!
  75. What did the calculator say to his true love? You can count on me.
  76. What shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day. Acute triangle.
  77. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? No – they had an apple!
  78. What happens when two angels get married? They live harp-ily ever after.
  79. What is the most romantic city in England? Lover-pool.
  80. What do cavemen give their wives on Valentine’s Day? Lots of ughs and kisses.
  81. What did the guy with a broken leg say to his nurse? I’ve got a crutch on you!
  82. What did the fungi say to her boyfriend? There is so mushroom in my heart for you.
  83. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? I’m sweet on you!
  84. What did the biscuit say to the jelly on Valentine’s Day? You’re my jam!
  85. What does the car lover do for his car? He gives it a valen-shine.
  86. How does the werewolf send his valentines? By hair-mail.
  87. Why do melons get married in a church? Because they cantaloupe.
  88. What did the boy candy say to the girl candy? We’re mint to be.
  89. What do squirrels give each other on Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.
  90. Why did the two socks get married? They were the perfect pair.
  91. How do vampires know if it’s been a successful Valentine’s Day? If it’s love at first bite.
  92. What do you call a romance that starts at the aquarium? Guppy love.
  93. What did the tortoise say on Valentine’s Day? I turtle-y love you.
  94. What did the chef give her husband for Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche.
  95. Did you hear about the guy who promised his girlfriend a diamond for Valentine’s Day? He took her to the baseball park.
  96. What is the best kind of candy to give to your girlfriend? Her-she kisses.
  97. What do rabbits do after they get married? Go on a bunnymoon!
  98. What is a thunder cloud’s favorite gift to give on Valentine’s Day? A box of shock-olates.
  99. What did pilgrims give each other for Valentine’s Day? Mayflowers.
  100. What did one font say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You’re just my type.

Your students will LOVE these jokes this Valentine’s Day!

100 Valentine's Day Jokes for Your Class Party